In my journey of motherhood.. I thank you my mom…

In my journey of the motherhood
I think of you mom
In my journey of the motherhood
I thank you mom

With every sock I turn, Sorting laundry
With every toy I gather down, Cleaning house
I appreciate you my mom

With every attempted paperback,
On the couch or on the bed,
On a busy day or lazy weekend
Our son asking questions, Interrupting
Till I answer back

With every “What’s for dinner?”
And the grumbles When I answer
After hours of Brainstorming menus,
Shopping for food, unloading groceries,
Preparing home cooked meals,
I sympathize my mom.

With every hard demand-
“Please ask red tractor to pass again on road”
“Could I eat only Chutney for dinner?”
I ache for my mom
Perched on the edge of my white daybed,
Hands clasped as I tried to answer

With every tough punishment
That leaves our son in tears
And the guilt I feel
For making him cry –
He trust me,
He wants my approval,
He wants me to see him perfect –
I understand my mom

With every laugh at the dinner table
That builds till i can’t stop
And tears stream down my cheeks,
And my jaw and face hurt
From smiling so hard,
I am thankful to my mom who taught me well…!!!

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Motherhood… It doesn’t challenge you but changes you

Sixteen years of formal education impart absolutely no working knowledge on one of the most important matter of life; how to raise kids. Being mother is a wonderful, rewarding, messy, noisy and sometimes crazy ride… but its all worth it as nobody teaches it but it comes naturally.

Before having a child, we feel ecstatic when the biggest priorities of buying a dream flat, a iphone, a car etc are fulfilled. The sudden news of addition of small little thing in our inconsistent schedule changes the entire prospective of life.

After the nine months of suspense, pampering, fear, innumerable free advice and all the discomfort of eating and sleeping pattern when you deliver a baby, you fell in love all over again..!!You stare at those tiny eyes and wrinkled skin and try thinking some charitable thoughts. A little finger wriggles. A mouth opens into yawn. You are ready to ooze over it and then it oozes over you..!!

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My temptation to stay with my little one was so much that I did not give second thought to letting my career take back seat to become full time mother for his initial growth years. Office meetings and training programs are now bartered with nappy changing sessions and feeding sessions. You learn to fathom when to change the nappy by looking at your little one’s facial expression. As a working professional I must admit I could never make out my boss’ mood by simply looking at him, but suddenly reading faces comes naturally.

Obsession with material possession has been replaced by kid’s gadget toys, bathing tub, potty seat, walker, pram and tricycle which we proudly display in name of furniture. In spite of keeping 2-3 alarms I have never succeeded in waking up early during my college days; but now I wake up at least 2-3 times at night just by hearing meek cry of my baby, he feels famished at night hours. I know this and I get up immediately. I have been regularly following this sleep pattern for the last two and half years now.

Motherhood changes the priorities of life completely… I realized this when I saw the old photo of  me and my husband; where I see a woman accessorized and made up. From that made up woman I have turned to a big weepy mess..!! I often forget to wear matching top for the jeans or matching salwar for kameez. Make-up, accessories… Sigh..!! I have forgotten what it is all about..!! But after all the pains, sleepless nights, uncombed hair and a laid back career; life does not really matter when my child finally comes running to me, hugs me with all the love in the world… The pleasure and satisfaction of raising the child is euphoric..!! After love, marriage and career… for me its that phase of life called “Motherhood”

Accepting the Imperfect World

Since our childhood we believe in concept that beauty and goodness is power and a key to happy and successful life, but the world of dark realities is far more pertinent in today’s world than a “happily ever after” saccharine that we have grown up believing in.

It is not necessary that every time we do good things we get the returns as expected. We need to accept the truth about life and its complexities. It does not happen only with us but everyone deals with challenges of their own. Although this earth is full of beauty, there is also darkness that enters in our life once in a while for sure…. if we accept all this we will have fewer disappointments.

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It is unfortunate that our society is obsessed with give and take policy so much that when the returns are not fulfilled as per the expectations we feel like the worst thing that could ever happen to a person. The reality is failure is a common place for all of us, but if we fear it or deny it, we lead our self to resentment, anger and loneliness. When we allow this fear to take over we spend lot of our time thinking about the failed dream and the time which is already gone.

Instead if we focus on love, the unconditional love, we then learn to forgive, forget and accept. And once we accept all the imperfections, we realize life does not have to be perfect to be wonderful…!!

Discovering Love in Arranged Marriage…

When girls are in their teenage they would be always thinking of their Prince Charming while watching romantic movies and beautiful songs. During this age falling in love will be always full of dreams of going to candle light dinners, going on long drive, exchanging gifts and the best one is her partner would stand on his knees with ring in his hand and say “You are the world to me…..”

Wow..!! that’s so beautiful, but often she keeps on waiting for her Mr. Perfect to come and propose and by the time she makes all her dreams come true, she gets engaged to the person who is Mr. Perfect according to her Parents….!!

So all her dreams of falling in love step by step in order  to eye someone,  to like that person, to think about that person, and then  to smile at that person, to show nakhras,  to start flirting,  to hold  hands and go to the park, to fall in love and finally  to see her partner to be the world for her then  to get married to him will never become true, as arranged marriage takes a big leap.

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Yes in arranged marriage you don’t get chance to “fall” in love but you would not realize when actually you “are” in love with your husband. Slowly and steadily you get habituated to your partner so much in all the small and tiny day-to-day life that you never realize that you are really in love with that person and you would never think about living your life without your lovable hubby.

When you are in love you would realize that love is not about talking to your partner for 4 hours a day on phone but it’s actually to care about that person, to care for your partner’s likes and dislikes even if you don’t happen to talk to him for even 1 hour a day, to understand what makes him happy in his daily life. Love is not about how much you say “I love you” but how much you can prove that it’s true.

Yes you may not get red rose on the Valentine’s Day or a platinum ring on the day you met each other, but when you are in love all these things does not even matter. What matters is when you are not happy your partner tries to make you happy, when you are tired your partner will do your work and your partners supports you by standing against the whole world just for you… real love can put up with your worst behavior and be exceptionally affectionate even when you are extremely irritable. They believe in you even when you stop believing in yourself.  They accept you with all your flaws and love you just the way you are…

By the time goes, you realize that yes you are in love with your husband, and when he comes  home after long day at office, he doesn’t compliment you, he doesn’t say anything about his problems and instead he shouts at you… you completely understand him… love him and nothing in the world can stop you loving him… not even him…